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So, this is Coco…the new addition to our family. My mom is still pretending she doesn’t like him but how can you NOT like him. Already this dog has given me some great ideas and inspiration.

We went to get a crate for him the other day and the kids found this new way to entertain themselves. It’s genius….GENIUS, I tell you!!

Calm down…it’s a dog. That’s right. I don’t have enough to worry about with 3 kids and 1 hairy german shepard. We are getting another dog this weekend. My mom said “Don’t look at me. I’m not helping with that dog. You’re on your own. ” I said “mom, I’m pregnant. Would you say the same thing if I were pregnant?  Would you say… I’m not taking care of that baby?” She said “yes, I would.” So, now I just want to get pregnant just for spite…to see what she would do. That’s right a spite baby!! Why not? I already have a couple of “I drank too much babies”….why not a spite baby.

These are the days I know something is wrong with me.

My husband stayed home during the last snow storm so were all enjoying the day together. Unfortunately, my husband was a wreck and unable to function because of the unrelenting screams coming from the basement where the kids were playing. He went to the basement to investigate and found that the kids had locked the basement door which threw him into a rage.  They heard about it and then lucky me …..I did too.

He came upstairs to my office and asked me  if I knew that the kids had locked the door. “ummm, no.” I said, still working. “Don’t you care?”, he replied, because he always has to act like he is somehow saving them and that my lack of interest in the door was somehow putting them in mortal danger.

Why wasn’t I upset about the door?… because I have acquired the ability to be able to tell exactly what is going on downstairs just by the sounds that emulate up from the floor. The loud bang….that’s basketball. The wild screaming….annoying, but harmless and the thump, thump, thump…that’s the lid of the dress up box that has been taken off and used as a slide down the stairs- which is not allowed and because of the amount of previous injuries they’ve had doesn’t happen very often.

I tried to explain these sounds and how I can tell which sounds are bad. He doesn’t believe me and goes into a rampage about how the kids were throwing mini-pool table balls around the room and that they could probably knock each other out and THEN WHAT WOULD I DO?   I guess I just figured that if one kid  knocked-out another I would still have two  conscience kids left to unlock the door. That’s simple math. But not to Jimmy. He said “What if they were all knocked out?”. The time it would take me to unlock the the basement door would be the difference between life and death.

Really? That was it. I couldn’t take it. Like I don’t have enough to worry about. Now, I have to worry about whether all three of my kids could possibly knock each other out SIMULTANIOUSLY with pool-balls rendering them all unconscious. Is that even possible? Frankly, I’d like to see it. All three kids with great shots. I don’t think that adults could even do that. Do realize the precision involved in an act like that? That’s all I can think about.

Seriously, I’ve got enough problems. Normal worries like kids running into the street or playing with fire. I don’t need anymore anxiety. Leave me and the chaotic sounds of my home alone. I know the good sounds and the bad sounds…. And now, thanks to Jimmy, I’ve got to add “clock-clock-clock and then silence” to my list of bad sounds.